Paganism, Beastiality, and Other Lessons I Learned from Avatar
Posted on 10. Mar, 2010 by RachelEli in Entertainment
Right-wing Christian groups have recently taken issue with James Cameron’s mega-blockbuster Avatar. (What can I say? It will be a long time until Dan Brown’s next book comes out, and they needed something to protest.) I must say, however, that after watching Avatar, I threw my 3-D glasses in the trash and took up the cause. March on, Christian soldiers! We shall crush the Na’vi with our righteous indignation!
Defenders of Avatar argue that the movie promotes many Christian values including being good stewards of the earth, self-sacrifice, and loving thy neighbor. While it’s true that Christ said to love thy neighbor, he didn’t say how long we had to love them. This way, we can conveniently love them, earn their trust, and then take their land, their homes and all their natural resources.
Some are worried that Avatar will lead to child environmentalists, something which has not been seen since the release of Fern Gully. We cannot have children running around planting trees and recycling. Instead, I recommend sitting children down to watch The Dark Knight. They need to understand that the world is full of chaos and destruction, and in the end, not even Batman can save the ones he loves. What is the point of saving the world when it is all going to burn anyways? (That was the point of The Dark Knight, wasn’t it?)
Others are concerned about the religious beliefs of the Na’vi because there seems to be an awful lot of nature and not a lot of Jesus. They are afraid that impressionable children will choose to follow the Na’vi faith instead of the Christian faith, and I could not agree more. What chance does an omnipotent being stand against a religion invented by the director of Titanic? Christians have a right to be worried. This time next year, Na’vi converts will be standing in the middle of Times Square handing out tracts, offering free personality tests, and urging Midwestern tourists to turn from their wasteful, consumerist ways and return to the earth.
My final concern about Avatar should convince the most devoted fans that their Golden Calf of movies is a perversion. Animals and the Na’vi have an unusual sort of relationship. The Na’vi care for the animals and wish to live in harmony with them. They want to understand the animals on a deep personal level, and on occasion, they will insert a part of their body into the animal.
Avatar will expose our children to radical environmentalism, wimpy foreign policy, made-up touchy-feely religions, and intimacy with animals. James Cameron and his devils in blue sheep’s clothes will get none of my money. Instead, I will be spending my money on a film that promotes my Judeo-Christian American values, something that will titillate my senses and not challenge anything I believe.
I’ll take 2 tickets to Cop Out please. Thank you.
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Dragonragedog