Wanted: One (Possibly Fake) Long-Distance Boyfriend
Posted on 12. Apr, 2010 by Brittney Winters in Lifestyle
Wanted: One attractive, intelligent, available male to either pose as or be my long-distance boyfriend.
Duties:
- Instant-message/Skype dates.
- Occasional email/text conversation.
- Maintain a visible Facebook relationship (including linked “relationship status”).
- Attempts at planning a visit to the “girlfriend”. Attempts count just as much as successful visits.
Benefits:
- Attractive, intelligent & charming long-distance girlfriend (or fake girlfriend).
- As an actual boyfriend, well, let’s just say there are some pretty great “benefits”. Fake boyfriends get fringe benefits to be determined later.
- Little to no expenses incurred. I don’t expect you to buy me anything if we’re not even in the same state!
- Low-maintenance. Want to hang out with the boys? Go ahead! What do I care? I’m not even there!
Why am I posting this? Because being single when you’re not in the position to mingle is BORING. I’d almost rather be in a long-distance relationship so I can at least feel like I’m being productive with my nun-like existence. Also, long-distance relationships give you something to look forward to! I like that feeling of anticipation, waiting on that phone call or email or text message or (heaven forbid) letter!
So if you’re in a position where you can’t seem to get a girlfriend (or even just get laid) and you want to feel cared for without being smothered? I’m your girl!
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