Spring Cleaning: It’s Time to Purge!

Posted on 03. Jun, 2010 by KaliMa in Lifestyle

A few weeks ago I ran into an old boyfriend…and his wife. I was at a coffee shop drinking my tea and working on a proposal when I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I hadn’t seen him in 10 years but he looked exactly the same. As I turned to say hello I caught the eye of his wife who was about a foot behind him. He turned and looked at me with a start…his eyes grew big like saucers. My heart started pounding, I felt a bead of sweat rise on my forehead. Quickly I collected myself and stuck out out my hand, “Hi, so and so this must be your beautiful wife, blah blah. So nice to see you both.” They shook my hand and we chatted about how long it has been…yada, yada, yada! They found a table close to mine and sat. After a while the wife got up and went to the bathroom. He walked over to me. He gave me a big hug and said, “You look great! My cell is still the same give me a call later. I’d love to take you to lunch.” He then walked to the counter and ordered their drinks and I packed my things and left.

When I got in my car and started the drive home I began to laugh. I don’t know why I got so nervous, it wasn’t like we were having an affair. In fact I hadn’t seen him since he got married. It was so silly. Days passed and I had forgotten about it. After a particularly rough day at work, I came home feeling blue and dejected. I picked up my cell and started thumbing through the contacts until I came across His number, my ex from the coffee shop. After all these years I still had it. I started to dial the number and then caught myself. WHAT WAS I DOING? I broke up with that man for a reason and now I’m gonna call him for lunch because I need an ego boost 10 years later? Why do I still have his number?

I thought about it for a while and began to get angry. How did he know I still had his number? He just ASSUMED that I would keep it! What an ass?!! Slowly I came to the realization: I only had a problem with this situation, because HE was MARRIED. I began to realize that whenever I was in the dumps I would go to my Little Black Book (iPhone, Blackberry, etc.) and dial up some dude from long ago and get my ego boost on! And although those men were SINGLE, what I was doing to MYSELF was still WRONG!

You are feeling a little uncomfortable, maybe even defensive right now as you fix your mouth to ask the question: What’s wrong with calling a former lover to stroke your ego? Oh, and this is my favorite excuse:Men do it ALL the TIME! Like all of a sudden the things that men do are RIGHT, when most of the time we talk about how what they do is WRONG! Let’s explore this idea.

You want a new couch. This new couch is gorgeous, made from the finest materials and you’ve worked very hard to save up all the money needed to buy this beautiful piece of furniture outright. You put down your money and the couch will be delivered soon. You go back home so excited about what you’ve accomplished, but you soon get word that it will take 4 months before the couch is delivered. Now you lose your enthusiasm, instead of cleaning up your house and preparing for your treasure, you throw things around, forget to dust…finally you decide to go out to the dumpster and get that old comfortable couch you had before…just until the new couch comes. You put pillows on it and dress it nice, but you can’t hide the reasons why you wanted the new couch. There’s a spring that still pokes you in the back, the stuffing is coming out of one of the pillows. This old couch looks good, but it’s not what you worked for…it’s not what you DESERVE! Then one day, DING DONG…you look out the door and it’s the delivery guys with your NEW couch. It came when you least excepted it. You fling the door open, happy to receive your gift. The guy looks in and sees the old couch. He says, “Oh Ma’am, we specifically put in your agreement that you needed to remove any old furniture so our guys can put the new furniture in. This is very expensive and heavy and we don’t remove old furniture due to liability issues. We’re very sorry ma’am but we’ll have to refund your money and send this to the next person on the list who is ready to receive this magnificent piece of craftsmanship. YOU’RE JUST NOT READY!

When you keep a black book around to avail yourself to the list of men who fell short in the past, it is obvious that YOU’RE JUST NOT READY to move on…you’re not ready to put yourself in the position to receive the attention and affection of a person who is actually worthy of all that you have to give. Remember! You’ve been working on yourself. You are not the same person you once were. So why go back to the same mess you pulled your self out of. In the end, if the space is BLOCKED either physically or energetically by someone else, your true soul mate or partner will not come. There is no room for him. So free yourself of the clutter. Do some spring cleaning…get rid of the junk and make room for the treasure you have worked so hard to earn. You need to be prepared for the time when you least expect it…

HOMEWORK:
1. PURGE: Go through your phone book and delete the contacts of people who are tempting, but NOT for YOU!
2. CLEAN and ORGANIZE your living space, this is a sign of your mental state and well-being. A depressed person is more likely to have a disorganized, dark, and messy living space. Get it together!
3. Continue to WRITE about your journey in your journal!

Source: Spring Cleaning

Tags: Dating, Relationships, Spring Cleaning