Les Grossman: Tom Cruise’s Best Role Ever?
Posted on 10. Jun, 2010 by Brittney Winters in Entertainment
I have to admit, I’ve only seen bits and pieces of Tropic Thunder, because something in my soul cringes at anyone acting in “blackface” – even if it’s meant to show how completely ridiculous acting in blackface is. However, every single time Tom Cruise waddled into frame with his corpulent, disgusting, misogynistic, terrible person of a character, Les Grossman, I died of happiness on the inside a little bit. Now that the MTV Awards are coming up (which I will staunchly boycott as I do every single awards ceremony on cable television due to my limited tolerance for stupidity), MTV is airing shorts featuring Les Grossman and my heart is tittering with glee.
Honestly, I’ve been apathetic towards Tom Cruise since Top Gun. I still haven’t seen any of the Mission Impossible franchise (and unless you’re cooking me dinner and proposing a night in to watch it, future boyfriend of mine, I likely never will). I think that I’ve lost interest in Cruise mostly because I’m tired of him playing debonair people at this point.
Tom, We all know you’re short, crazy, have no respect for other people’s couches à la Rick James, more than likely have a Napoleon complex because your wife (who has started looking more and more manly year by year that she remains married to you) is taller than you and possibly has more career longevity, and you are a practicing member of a religion that seems less like a valid belief system and more like a cross between a sci-fi convention, the FDLS communes down in Texas, and a Kool-Aid drinking cult. You’re not fooling anyone.
It’s time to put on that fat suit and be the disgusting lout that we’ve all suspected lies deep within your Xenu-riddled, anti-depressant-eschewing, couch-jumping, shoes-with-lifts-wearing, Katie-Holmes-oppressing soul.
Keep playing Les Grossman. It works for you.
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