Saturday, 1st November 2014

Ghetto Baby Names

Posted on 23. Jun, 2010 by in Lifestyle

Ghetto Baby Names

There are common and uncommon names, in the world, but one thing I am sure of, is that there is some little Black Girl who is about to take her first breath into the world…see the first person in her world… and hear the worst name anyone could ever think of… in the World. “Oooh Girl! Yo new baby La-Tayshaniquamanesha is so beautiful” …Unfortunately her Mother and “Absentee” Father have set her up for a LIFE FAIL. To help avoid this we can follow a couple simple rules:

1. Do not try to mix your two names together. Shawn+Jeanetta does not = Shawnetta.  Kenya + Andre does not = Kendre [This is not a 90’s R&B Group (ex. BellBivDevoe or Jodeci)…this is your CHILD!]

2. Avoid the Prefix De, D’, La, Tay [Your not French or Italian]

3. Avoid the Suffix -isha  -ika -ita -etta -ay

4. Do not name your child after a car, type of purse or cologne or a dumb ass NOUN.

5. Avoid Actors and Athletes. We have enough Kobe’s and Beyonce’s to go around now.

See, names like that don’t make it to the Suburbs. They don’t go to College. They get pregnant at 16 just like her mother did…BECAUSE SHE CAME INTO THE WORLD  DISADVANTAGED,  AND NOT IN FINANCE, BUT IN MONIKER.


But WHITE PEOPLE shouldn’t think they are exempt. These celebrities  Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gweneth Paltrow named their child “APPLE”. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: RUMER, TALULLAH BELL and SCOUT???? WOWZERS!… And fellow Black Celebrities like Tony Braxton with children named “Deizel” and “Denim”. This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!

Lets be creative People!! You don’t have to name your child, Sydney or Madison which I now group as GHETTO TRANSITION names, since some of these Hood Children damn sure don’t fit those names.  All I ask is that you be CREATIVE and MEANINGFUL, so that if the name does sound Mildly Ghetto, they can redeem it by saying  “KELAKAYKAY” means “Beautiful Spirit” in Swahili (*side eye look*)

My name is Nile (not NILES), a it’s a very self explanatory name and it’s of African descent. It’s originality makes it a creative choice, since there are not many that have the name, but it’s more AWESOME  because… I’M FUCKIN FINE!!! But anyway…

These are some ACTUAL GHETTO NAMES I have heard of and come across:

  1. Peter Rabbit – This is come real childrensbook bullshit, but an actual name of a person I know.
  2. Nemesis – Beautiful little girl with a HELL of a name.
  3. Candida – Wikipedia : Of ..“YEASTS” and not cookin yeasts.
  4. And the best of all is pronounced “Ab-suh-dee” but spelled… “ABCD”
  5. MAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!ABCD??  Maybe it would be more fitting if her name was: “ABCDENT” …because that’s what she was!! Yet, I digress…


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  • Farrah

    For one Sydney is a great unisex name its strong yets opens the door when someone sees a great resume with a lot of experience and education behind it, you’re not sure if this person is male or female or what nationality they descend from. Nile sounds more like your black mother wanted to name you after a river in AFRICA get a clue…..the president is named BARACK OBAMA which also screams black person dont let a name hold you back… also know some ishas, and iana’s who are in careers not JOBS we a re all in control of our destiny not a damn name seriously your argument is ignorant there are other factors that create the baby mommas and daddies in this world it is not a DAMN NAME youre IGNORANT!!!

  • Farrah

    one of my best friends graduated top of her class from harvard and her name is portia pronounced “porshe” like the damn car and she is a very successful attorney in NY now and shes BLACK

  • Keshia

    I so agree! Be very careful when naming your child people!!! Think about their name on a resume…if you can tell the ethnicity by the first name you might want to reconsider.

  • Farrah

    Keshia hes talking about your name too

  • Lessumz

    Farrah you sound hella mad right now.

  • M.Easyfosheezy

    It is so funny because I have this conversation with so many people when they are pregnant or thinking about conceiving a child. I work in HR and there have been plenty of instances when a candidate is thrown to the side because of their name not their experience, or the famous J.William Smith (knowing that J. stands for Jaquan)…come on people. Give your kids a fighting chance. The transition name thing is a stretch. Just give them regular names or plan to be rich so you can make sure your kid doesn’t have to fight extra hard because 1. they are black and 2. they have a tow up name.

  • Leslie (thick Chick #1)

    and Madison
    are all the new Tramika and Kemisha

  • Leslie (thick Chick #1)

    its crazy because there are so many sides to this argument… its terrible that we have an idea in our heads that the more causcasian the name sounds the more professional or the more typicial the more hirable. i have a dear friend who was middle named by her white mom and black dad “cocaine”. she had it legally changed as an adult, but goodness can you imagine. beauty, style and taste are subjective so i understand opinions will vary, but there is something a little mean about giving your child a 5 syllable name if they are not of direct African lineage. Tae-Don-Set-Jay-Kwan

  • Leslie (thick Chick #1)

    I made this one up…
    Pronounced: Dem-Yay-La-Ta-Neese
    Spelled: Dehmyeh’lataniece
    Moral of the story: MEAN and MEANINGLESS.
    Im totally going to market a game called urban name feng shui… Im going to put 300 one syllable sounds in a box and have people name their babies randomly with the syllables. Then we all sit around and decide hwo to spell the monstrosity of the conjunctions.

  • Leslie (thick Chick #1)


  • Kiesha Swasey

    This is especially hysterical to me because it hits home. First lets start with my own name.. Kiesha…. which I always hated because every other person from my hood had it. All different variations of it. (Keisha, Kisha, LaKeisha, MyKeisha, Keysha, etc. etc.) But it sounds normal at this point. I get excited when I see a white Kiesha even though if you look at me I look like a white Kiesha too. =)
    Now my sister is guilty of mixing names all the time. I beg her to not do it. I tell her please give my niece a fighting chance in the world. Please dont do this to her. She didnt listen now my niece has to try to get into college with Trezira (Trevor + Nazira combined) lol. I love my neice btw. lol. Oh wait…. did I mention that my other neice is named Ashanti? Like the singer =)

    I thought “apple” was such a stupid name. elementary will be torcher for her!

    This is hysterical stuff.

  • donald akins

    It was dum when bill cosby said it and its still dum now,its 2010 and we still have to hide from the racist.And poeple ask why we still need afermative action,we not only have to fight them but our own that are brain washed into hateing there self i dont care if my name is HARRY AS BLACKMAN it should not matter if i am the best fit for the job.Stop trying to fix the symtems of racisim and start trying to kill the desease.(sorry cant spell when im

  • Onessa Townsleyy(Nerd Swaq)

    i think dis is very racist bcuz white ppl and latin ppl and every other race qive their children qhetto and unique names as well not juss black ppl have the names like keshia or niya or janiya or shay shay its a wide range of races wit them namees like tay tay.

  • Yasmin

    I think this is a very racist and stereotypical post. First, absentee father? What the heck? Not all black families are missing fathers. In all actuality, there are LESS absent fathers in the black community, than present. Secondly, white, asian, hispanic, etc. all have crazy names! Angelina Jolie, what is a Jolie? Kesha, which is similar to Keisha. I don’t know, you could have presented this post, with using untrue stereotypes of African Americanns. And could have addressed the other races, who use unneccessary names. Again, a very racist and stereotypical post…..

  • Jillian

    I agree with alot of comments stating that this post is very RACIST and STEROTYPICAL,why because for the simple fact you’re saying that only African Americans are the only people who tend to have what you call GHETTO BABY NAMES which is soo untrue. Each nationality or race doesnt have their own set of names. One of my former teachers names was Brookly Madison,yeah…Whom made it through high school and college and now has a CAREER and did I forget to mention she’s WHITE. So come on people lets not take it there!!

  • http://nunya Monica

    Barak is a HEBREW NAME not a ghetto name FARRAH dear. It is mentioned in the old and new testament.

    2.Judges 4:6 (Whole Chapter)
    She sent and summoned [Heb 11:32 ] Barak the son of Abinoam from [Josh 19:37 ] Kedesh-naphtali and said to him, “Has not the LORD, the God of Israel, commanded you, ‘Go, gather your men at Mount [Judges 8:18] Tabor, taking 10,000 from the people of Naphtali and the people of Zebulun.

  • Kelly

    Everyone has weird names nowadays. Not just black people. I am a mixed 16 year old and I have a 100% white friend named Boner. Don’t blame this on just black people.

  • http://Givethekidachance Adam

    Raquesha, Damian, Deondre. These are the stupid names my sister-in-law burdened her children with. She is black my brother is white. When these kids are old enough and if they wish I will pay to have their names changed. Teachers, employers, judges, law enforcement all look at ghetto names with contempt. We have enough Tamika’s and Tyrone’s and Shameeka’s on food stamps. And housing should be limited to 5 years. Why should some one live free all their lives. If you don’t have your life and finance business in order in 5 years then go to a shelter. It should be a bridge not a way of life. Shall we say this to all the Tamika’s? Blame your mother for the ignorant names. Most college black people know not to burden with their children with names that never get past the human resource department.

  • ashley

    first off let me address adam. i think that was just way to racist you got totally off subject this is about names and you went off talking about foodstamps and welfare. if you havent noticed there are alot of WHITE people on foodsamps also with regular gay names like yours you should read on it.i think all names are cute in there own way..some are a bit ridiculous like blanket and apple but who are any of us to judge? my daughters name is aniyah pronounced (ah-ny-ah)and i love it.i pesonally dont care what anyone names there kid its not my kid and none of buisness.come on really guys get a grip and mind your buisness…(adam)

  • Filla

    What do you think of “Ordima”

  • clevashaqueeshaneesha A.K.A. the stripper


  • Dude

    If you have to put the pronunciation next to a name YOU MADE UP it’s probably ghetto.

  • Yomamma

    LaShonda. That is muh name.

  • ilikecereal

    I want to have your name LaShonda

  • http://facebook Emerald’Quanik

    Hey I LIke Those Names; I Don’t Think They Are Ghetto At All !!

  • Santana

    Okay , so black ppl lets be real & stop putting a bad name to our race ! nBefore you name your child ( baby etc. ) make sure it : n 1.) Fits them ( what I mean is for ex. my name is Santana …. i’m half Puerto Rican & half Black it fits me well )n 2.) Will get them far in life n 3.)Has a meaning to it because i’m sure ” Bon Qui-Qui ” does not have a solid meaning !nI’m sick & tired of seeing 5 year-old ” LaToya’s ” & 2 year-old ” Kaleysia’s” …. i’m sorry but it’s true …… n – Santana ( <—- that is my name & i am female )

  • Janesmith

    umm.. well.. I named my kid garbage.. Is that ghetto? I think its cute. her last name is can. I think its very unique. stop hatin on my baby.. i’ma get my knife out

  • kelly*black*

    well kelly my name is kelly…but n t way its a lot off white people that are naming there kids ghetto names ugh i wish white people will stop….with the butts,lips….if u dont got it oh well ur family dont got it n u dont. Just let black stand alone

  • Axolotl

    Don’t they realize how stupid they look with those names? They bring on the laughs by themselves.   Well at least they have Fathers Day off… nothing to celebrate for them.

  • Princessallegra

    My name is allegra. I’m use to hearing like the allergy medicine but after a while it’s not a big deal. It’s way better to have a name thats out there instead of Haley or briana

  • Totallifeplan

    Portia as spelled, is actually the name of a Shakespeare character (Merchant of Venice). So many a educated people, would not think that was ghetto. It is an old world name.

  • Sharee Moye

    Jillian I’m not sure of your race and I always said if I ever have another daughter that I would name her Jillian. In response to your comment I’m a black woman and do not find this post racist in any way. These names “ghetto” hurt the child in the long wrong. I’ve seen hiring manager throw away application based on the name. Do I think it’s wrong to discriminate based on a name ? absolutely, but unfortunately that is the world we live in. As a parent I want my children to not be judged before they even reach the interviewing process. The post is specifically about blacks naming their child names that takes the child until he 10 to finally spell and pronounce it correctly. We know other races does this as well, but this is not about them. At least we can pronounce Brookly Madison with ease lol.  BTW my name is Sharee and when my step daughter and daughter decided to have children I warned them…NO GHETTO NAMES….I have a Jena and Jessica because I liked the names…Grandsons (twins) Ashton and Austin. Jena’s daughter name is Kennedy. names that you don’t have to struggle to pronounce. I do however respect your opinion.

  • Michael Hunt

    Well, my neighbor names his dog “N**ger, because the dog’s color is black. How do you like that? Ignorant sperm donors/parents/single moms should not be allowed to name their children, in the first place.

  • Michael Hunt

    I agree with the person who threw out applications based on names. Anyone intelligent enough would have shed a stupid name linking them to a trash culture before applying anywhere. My statement applies to ALL cultures.

  • Michael Hunt

    Rarely are there two Black parents. But there are plenty of “muh babydaddies.” Wake up.

  • Michael Hunt

    How about a nice name mentioned in the bible? Like Beelzebub?

  • topghetto names