I Came, I Saw, I Pleasured
Posted on 26. Jul, 2010 by Dan Abrams in Lifestyle
I am going to settle a debate that should never have been started: Men, there is a G-Spot and shame on you for not knowing where it is. I can only assume you’ve had very little sex. I am here to help.
Ingredients
1) A hand, with atleast one finger on it. (sorry fingerless men, you’re out of luck again)
2) A willing, female participant.
3) A nice bottle of wine. (You can deduct it as an educational assault)
Method
After consuming the wine and saying “uh-huh” and “that’s so interesting” as she talks about how her boss doesn’t listen to her, wait for a pause as she thinks of what to say next. This is a break in her defenses. Attack by slowly moving in and kissing her.
She will smile and before she she begins to talk more, if you let that be it, you have armistice before the battle has even begun. You should either kiss her again, or producer a witty quip to break the tension, then kiss her again.
Stay in this time and kiss her again. By the third or fourth kiss you should have pecked your tongue in there, or she would have. Don’t back away now, you’ve established a beach head. Make sure you can hold it, then advance.
As you’ve gone through the usual procedure, removing the pants, sweater, bra, and gotten to the last line of defense, the panties, you are in a position to demand complete surrender. You have fought valiantly, but watch out for any rogue panzer divisions that you’ve forgotten about.
Rather than going the usual route and spending time as an occupying force until you’ve had enough, leaving her to clean up the mess and rebuild, standup and announce that you are going to need her assistance towards a goal that will help hundreds of women like her.
Move your hand down below her panties and feel around. I warn that the G-spot is located in the darkest, most dangerous region of the woman. But there, inside that wet and unstable cave is a ridged region on the ceiling. Once you’ve found that you know you’ve achieved victory.
Okay, men, that’s all for you.
Ladies, now that the men are gone, here’s how to get him to find your G-spot. Men are silly creatures, you must understand, and you must trick them into considering it their own victory to pleasure you. Leave your defenses purposefully down and perhaps make a similar move through his defenses, cupping his sexual organ. Be aware that he has likely given it a call sign and a backstory. Not wanting to be outdone, he’ll follow suit, and when he advances to your G-spot, let out a cute peep, “Ooh, that’s my G-spot,” followed quickly by, “I surrender, General Patton.” Trust me, this will give you complete control of the situation.
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