Men’s Room Etiquette
Posted on 27. Jul, 2010 by vanedave in Lifestyle
Let me begin by saying that I am all for being polite. I think this world would be a much better place if more people had manners. However, there can be such a thing as too polite.
Yesterday after lunch I went to the bathroom to handle my business. As usual, this was right after the cleaning ladies tidied up in there. After a minute or two, this guy comes in and situates himself in the stall next to me. He had one of those real gassy movements. He must have farted about eight or nine times.
Here is where things got odd. Each time this dude let one go, he said “excuse me” afterwards. He did this for all eight or nine farts. Meanwhile I am sitting in the stall next to him trying not to crack up. All I could think was, “Dude, you are taking a dump. You are supposed to be farting.”
After about the fifth time he did this, I was just about to bust out laughing. I had my hand over my mouth trying to hold it all in. He said it once more and I let out a hearty chuckle. The laugh also made me fart. The weird part is that I was so surprised by my own fart at that moment, that I actually said “excuse me”.
For a second after that, there was this awkward pause. I know this man must have been thinking that I was making fun of him. After all, I was giggling right before I said it. I felt so weird about it. I decided to break the silence.
Me – I don’t even know why I just said that.
Stall #2 – It was the polite thing to say.
Me – Yes I suppose it was
Stall #2 - *let’s out fart #7* Excuse me.
Me – Yeah, you’re excused.
I did not know this man. We had not seen each other at any point. I do not know why he felt the need to excuse himself to me. He might have been trying to be polite, but in reality all he did was make things awkward. To me, having bathroom etiquette means that you shut the hell up, mind your business, flush, and wash your stank ass hands before you leave.
This is just all types of wrong!!!
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