I Am NOT the Last Woman on Earth!
Posted on 26. Oct, 2010 by Brittney Winters in Lifestyle
For the record, I’d like to state that Facebook is the devil. Mark Zuckerberg’s electronic empire has gone and made life a living hell for those of us who just don’t care to know about the inane minutiae of other people’s lives. It’s made life even worse for those of us who just can’t resist Facebook stalking their friends.
Just to let you know, I fall in the latter camp.
I find myself on Facebook at least 15 times a day or more, rooting out all the latest updates from my friends’ profiles. It’s a shameful, pathetic obsession, but I can’t seem to break myself of the habit. New profile pictures, updated statuses, new networks, you name it, I’ve probably made a mental note of it while browsing Facebook.
However, I have reached my breaking point with the Book of Faces. I can not and will not endure looking at any more indications that I am the Only Single Girl Left in the World. I’m not sure what it is about my peer group, possibly the changing of seasons, the alignment of planets, global warming, or any of the other factors contributing to my News Feed, but it seems like I am definitely the only person I know who is not dating, in a relationship, engaged, married, or raising a child.
I am single for a reason. I’m not sure what that reason is, exactly, but I recall this vague, mystical reason to have been a sound one when I made the conscious decision to not put myself out there in the dating scene. To be fair, though, even when I am “out there”, it is rare that I am approached by anyone who meets the bare minimum of my standards: a car, a job, a bachelor’s degree, no kids, a cell phone I can reach him on, and a clean police record.
But this article isn’t meant to complain about my lack of romance. This article is meant to complain about Facebook making me feel ashamed that I’m not in a relationship. It’s one thing to see all my friends in their lovey-dovey relationships – I’m happy for them, even if I am mildly envious. It’s another to be singled out and targeted by Facebook’s “personalized advertisements” in the sidebar!
Last time I checked, I was not ugly, painfully socially awkward, or fat. Facebook, if I wanted to be in a relationship, I’d've asked out that guy in my class I’ve had a really awkward crush on for the past year. I don’t need your suggestions to join dating sites. The last time I went out with a dude from a dating site, he was 30lbs. larger than advertised, couldn’t hold a conversation and had what appeared to be a touch of Down’s Syndrome. I don’t need your advertisements for in-vitro fertilization. I’m pretty sure that my baby factory is in full, working order and I won’t be menopausal for another 32 years or so!
Obviously, I do need to get off Facebook and back into the real world…but I am rebelling against the dictates of Mark Zuckerberg. I do not need to be all boo’ed up in order to be a complete person. I do not need to be listed as “in a relationship” to be validated as a human being.
…But if you’re a fairly decent guy and want to go ahead and ask me out for coffee, I’ll take a chance on that…
Source: Last Woman
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Toiah
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LMD