Confessions of a Modern Woman’s Video Vixen Nightmare

Posted on 04. Aug, 2011 by Sickly Cat in Lifestyle

Q: In what world is my competition a video girl?

A: In Los Angeles, that’s where.

I hold a degree in Journalism that I earned on TWO full-academic scholarships, I run a successful business, own my car, live within four ways with no co-habitants of any kind, volunteer in my community and YET, I am still reduced to being paired against over-inflated tits and a silicone-produced ass for the attention of a male suitor.

I’m not making this up people! This is really my life. A guy who I have loosely known for a few years recently hit me up. After a few witty exchanges over Twitter, he asked for my number. Inside I was secretly jumping up and down because I had a crush on this lad long ago. He is one of the few guys I have met that I actually wouldn’t change anything about him (except his teeth! That’s major for me. He’s creative, smart, creative, conscious, creative, God-fearing, creative and he loves his momma! Did I mention he’s creative? His art speaks to me. I see a different perspective when I look at what he created. There is nothing more sexy to me than a man that can see simplicity, seemingly nothingness and make it beautiful. I digress.

After a little “research” I find that he is in a very public “relationship” with a video vixen. WHY IN THE HELL WAS HE ASKING FOR MY NUMBER???? Totally confused. Naturally, I had to look his chick up. Ok she’s bad. I mean like really bad. I tried to find something physically wrong with her for about 15 mins – FAIL. Her face is gorgeous and I don’t just throw that word around. Her body is obviously RIDICULOUS since that’s her chief asset. Now I’m pissed! I felt like I was on candid camera. Was this some kind of a joke? As if I don’t already have my list of insecurities now I am measuring myself against this fantasy of a woman. Problem is, if you live in Michigan that girl is just a fantasy but when you live in LA, that chick is as real as the air you are breathing.

*BACK STORY: I met him through my summer jumpoff (this young fellow that I was using for an ego boost and occasional *clears throat*). My young boo introduced me to this guy for networking purposes since we both work in the industry. We all hung out from time to time that summer but that was it. P.S. I DID NOT SLEEP with the young boy!

This is precisely the type of bs that makes me want to pack up my crap and move to Iowa where “good girls” get wifed by “good guys” THE END! Ok. That’s extreme but, hell, so is this!

A few days after he asked for my number we started chatting again. This time he was quick to get to the point. The invite to watch a movie at his house was not in the least bit tempting especially since it was already past the 11 o’clock hour! Is he crazy? Clearly. I felt a bit of fire rise in my chest. I knew I may be a tad hormonal so I had a ‘woosah’ moment before writing a scathing yet composed response to his follywagness. I told him that grown people don’t watch movies at 11:45 PM! And if he wanted to see me he would need to pick up the phone and ask me out properly but I would not be holding my breath. At that point I was like he must think because me and the young boy had a little fling of sorts that he could be next! Are you kidding me? Furthermore, you want me to be your jumpoff while you wife the video chick? I THINK NOT! Kick Rocks.

Not caring if I ever heard from him again, I wrote a serious of subliminal tweets. He eventually sent a response that was as charming as ever (not surprising since that’s one of the reasons I like him). To which I respond with SILENCE.

Boo I’m over you! What part of the game is this? I am 27 months from being 30 years old. There is no way in hell I would reduce myself to allow this man to use me and discard me all the while courting King magazine’s feature flavor of the month.

For arguments sake, I can’t say that I know with certainty that the young lady in first position is not educated or that she doesn’t have more than a beautiful face and bangin body. But I highly doubt it. If she is anything like her tweets… *crickets*. Even if she had a PH.D does the fact that all her goodies are on display for the world to see not mean anything to men these days? They don’t give a rat’s ass. In the age of Kim K., men are probably desensitized to the much less demure modern woman. Cold game.

Source: Black Is!

Tags: Dating, Music Videos, Relationships, Video Vixen

Harmony

perhaps this speaks to the shallowness of “male suitors.”
Robert

@Harmony…Perhaps you are right but why didn’t nshe do her research prior to giving out her number? I know women who nhave PHD’s that do video’s and magazines (I don’t call it modeling nbecause I don’t believe that is modeling) so what wouldn make him shallow? We know men are visual beings so women play on that. nWe can also look at the women who chooses to use the physical appearancen to sell themselves instead of their brains to get ahead. Perhaps it is nthese women who are being shallow as well.
Harmony

Could be you have info regarding this matter thatn I don’t . . . however, be that as it may, it has little to do with her nlack of social responsibility and more to do with what titillates a nman’s interest & appetites. Even having met the T&An bombshells and discovering a lack of sufficient intellect to create a nlogial deduction, he still pursues her because a percieved need in him nrefuses to be denied and it has nothing to do with nurishing the nentirety of his being . . . he just wants to traverse reality for a nmoment’s pleasure! . . and then it’s, “next?”
Bendog2g

Well,n the author of the article states that she doesn’t know the background nof the “video vixen” therefore you can’t say he is not stimulated by hern intellect because she may be intellectual and chooses to place her bodyn on display for men to ogle over. She nmay have brains and beauty but let’s say that she does lack intellect. nThe aurthor states that she is approximately 28 years old so I will nassume the man is about that age. Men are less likely to want to commit nto any woman at that age because we lack the ticking clock that women npossess. Although I agree with you that most men will travel the path ofn least resistance for a moment’s pleasure and be on to the next, I don’tn think that the “video chick” is that path because for most men she is nnot the reality since she has many options. At that age most men are notn looking for nurishing of his being. He is looking for “Sexual Healing.”n We will just have to disagree on her social responsibilty since most nwoman use their physical attributes to attract men to begin with. In nmost cases before a man can feel her Spirit he first sees her physical nappearance. Once she has attracted him it is up to her to allow that nconnection to occur.
thesarahb

Who are we to say what is universally u00a0″valuable” and what is not?? Why can’t the fact that this woman takes pride in her health and physical appearance have value in itself? And why is dude wrong for appreciating it (assuming that is the ONLY reason he is in a relationship with her)? Why are holding 2 degrees and the amassing of material possessions considered more important than maintaining a healthy body or anything else for that matter? I know several people without degrees, cars, and a house all to themselves that are pretty amazing folks that have talent that I could only dream of. u00a0Not everyone has the same opportunities or aspirations and I don’t think it’s fair to place higher value on one human over another in any circumstance (“YET, I am still reduced to being paired against over-inflated tits and a silicone-produced ass for the attention of a male suitor”).u00a0If that is the type of woman that the guy likes – that’s HIS business, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him at all. As the old adage goes… “different strokes for different folks.” The bigger lesson here is that we need to be aware of what we want in a man and take the time to find out what HE finds valuable. If you are educated, financially stable and a community volunteer, you need to look for someone who finds those things valuable and endearing.u00a0The 2nd paragraph of this article describes some pretty amazing attributes of this guy – but it was instantly thrown out because he invited you over a little too late… and you saw some blogs about him allegedly being in a relationship with a stunning woman. There was clearly something he found interesting about you, but you never gave him a chance. There are a whole lot of assumptions being made.. that he wanted you to be the jumpoff and wife this other chick, that this woman was all beauty and otherwise empty… It seems like you have a lot going for you (including being a great writer!) but you gotta slow your roll a little. Take the time to ask the important questions instead of assuming the worst and slow down on the judgments!u00a0
Harmony

I don’t know that we (women) “use” our physical nattributes so much as it’s just the way things are . . . women are ncreated lush & desirable, it’s God’s plan . . . and men are nHARDWIRED to desire her (them) . ..it’s a component of then Order of the Universe . . . Cause & Effect . . . and that, we can nboth be happy about! I love being a woman, I understand womanliness . .n . I exude femininity and anyone in my presence ‘gets’ that!
Marcus

This article is ignorant.nYou have sex with the video vixen, but you don’t marry her. u00a0The bangin body doesn’t last forever. u00a0Conversations and lack of drama do. u00a0nMen know this, Women should too.
Imjustsaying

I totally get where this author was coming from.u00a0She is simply making theu00a0comparison based on theu00a0u00a0what the commonu00a0perceptionu00a0of a “Video Vixen.”u00a0u00a0It does say that she has no clue what the other young lady is like.u00a0u00a0If she is judging anything she is judging that harsh reality of the dynamics between a man choosing flesh over substance. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand that’s the way it is and will be.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_V4X6T4LUS3NGDMAB5TBB5SPHIM John m

thanks for ur comments, why do men have to choose. so now u just have to be only educated or only have a vixen body. why can’t u have it all! it is the art of being a woman. and we are surprise why some men go other race to choose a wify or cont. playing the field?because they are tried of this kind of situation. learn to be a complete lady and great men will follow after u.
Susie

I feel after readign her text, you have misconstrude the thesis of what is actually being said. This woman in no way demeaned the “video vixen” , respectfully referred to her as a ”lady”, and threw no salt on how she gains money. Nor did she make judgements that weren’t properly considered. When you have a male in your inbox who is blatently in a relationship with a woman (regardless of looks) HE SHOULD NOT BE REQUESTING A LATE NIGHT MOVIE OR PHONE NUMBERS IN THE FIRST PLACE…PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU GATHER FROM THOSE DETAILS IN THAT SENARIO…OTHER THAN THE OBVIOUS…AND WHAT REAL MAN WHO ”FINDS AN INTEREST IN A WOMAN” ADDRESSES HER AT SUCH A DISREPECTFUL TIME IN THE NIGHT FOR AN INVITE OVER HIS HOUSE??? PLEASE IF YOU FIND YOURSELF DEFENDING HIS ACTIONS THAN YOU ARE JUST A BIRD OF A FEATHER. AND IM WAISTING MY FREE TIME…GOOD DAY
Susie

I think that saying the article is ignorant and then stating such an opinion as you just did shows that males….are probably the dumbest beings created. Being that you base so many principals on the most idiotic ideas/theories/and farfetched fantasies THAT YOU HYPNOTIZE YOURSELF ,SPREAD YOUR IDIOCY, AND MAKE IT A WAY OF LIFE hense “GUY CODE”….maybe thats a TRUTH! that men inffected with the simple same tract mind, you have perfectly displayed to us, should come to terms with.
Thesarahb

Wow, she “in no way demeaned the ‘video vixen’”? What do you call this statement? “YET, I am still reduced to being paired against over-inflated tits and a
silicone-produced ass for the attention of a male suitor.” That sounds a bit demeaning to me – the author is implying that she should not even be compared on the same level as this vixen just because she is educated and “successful.” Later in the article she mentions that she doubts this vixen is even educated!
The gist of my comment is that it doesn’t matter what this man finds attractive in women – he is entitled to do whatever he wants and be attracted to whomever he wants – we ALL are. Yes, he tried to hit the author up late night – some girls will take that bait and want to do a lil something-something – the author did NOT and she responded appropriately by ignoring him.
We don’t even know this guy’s situation with this vixen – maybe they are not exclusive or have an open relationship – we’re doing a whole lot of assuming here.
I am in a committed monogamous relationship (nix your bird of a feather statement) – we have our agreements, but that doesn’t make it OK for me to expect everyone else to have the same agreements as I do. Who makes the rule on what a “disrespectful time of the night” is anyway? Show me the rule book on that!
To address your statement on what this author’s thesis is – her thesis is that (all/most?) men care about these days is a big butt and a smile and that she’s appalled that she – a smart, educated, successful woman - is even in the same dating pool as these empty pretty girls.

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