Are you Dick or Are You Deserving?

Posted on 10. Jan, 2012 by Ginger Love in Lifestyle

In an effort to rebut the article: Are you Wifey or are you Pussy? I want to speak on behalf of the women. So here it goes….

How do you keep a woman? Are you deserving of her time, effort, energy and love?

How do women view you? Do they think you are interesting, kind-hearted, and loyal? Do you have what it takes to keep her attention? What does she like most about you? If she says your abs, your job, or your BMW, then you should re-evaluate some things. So are you d*ck or are you deserving?

Late night booty calling, works both ways. Do men realize that they are not the only ones who initiate late night booty calling? It happens. And guess what? Women have so many more options than men do. When we have an itch, you can guarantee it will get scratched and we don’t have to buy anything or fake the funk. Women may do a late a night creep with the man they view as d*ck, then go have breakfast with the man they think is deserving. Why? Because we tend to hold out for one we think is deserving. We want to attract him on all levels, not just sexually. We get hot and let d*ck put that fire out because, we know that our relationship with d*ck isn’t going anywhere besides the bedroom. We could really care less what d*ck thinks, just put it down and go back home. So stop being the man who comes running when she wants a quick lick, orgasm & smash session.

Does she take you around her friends and family?

Have you met the people she holds dear? Does she talk about you to her friends and relatives? Have you ever been asked to a family function? If she is into you, you will be asked to attend the family BBQ. See, as women, we don’t bring any man around our family we don’t think has potential. Men can get away with that, but most women cannot. We actually care what our people think and if you don’t fit the bill in our eyes, don’t worry, you will never meet our mama or taste her good cooking.

What do you do in your spare time? Do you sit around only watching sports and playing video games? Do you go to clubs and bars every weekend to get drunk and snatch new booty? Do you sit around with the homies, smoking hashish, then have the nerve to come over and try take us out in your smoke-scented car with your bad smoker’s breath?! Cut it out. Find other ways to deal with your stress besides drinking and smoking. That behavior takes you completely out of the running for many of us. It’s ok to have a good time & relax every now and then, but daily bad habits are not the business. Do you have experiences beyond your neighborhood? What are your interests and desires? Can you teach us something we don’t know? Women love intelligence and, more importantly, we love a man who can communicate his intelligence. Talk to us about everything. We desire to get close to you. Not to hurt you, but to bond with you.

What kind of dudes do you hang around? Are you passionate about anything besides your selfish needs and making money? Chances are, if most of your friends are cheating on their wives and girlfriends, then you are too. If most of your friends are hustlers, then you are too. Trust me, we pay attention to that, and any man involved in shady dealings or constant p**sy hounding won’t be deserving. Do you feel an obligation to help the young brothers that can benefit from your mentoring? Do you take soup to your elderly grandmother and spend time with her? You want our attention? Show concern for others through action.

Do you know how to take care of YOURSELF? Are you messy or are you clean? Do you take time to at least clean your bathroom and kitchen before a woman comes by, or do you expect her to enjoy herself in the midst of all your junk and squalor? Women are never, ever comfortable around a bunch of chaos and mess. And do everyone a favor: wash your sheets if you expect us to get in them. I once met a guy who had the dirtiest pillowcases I have ever seen, and you better believe I was not p***y, or anything else to him. Get the mop, bucket and bleach out. Clean up, especially your bathroom. Thank you.

Are you fun? Do you know how to plan a good date? It doesn’t take a lot of money or a rocket scientist to plan an interesting date. There are so many inexpensive yet fun things to do! Movies and dinner are cool but played out. If you want to impress, get cultural with it! Museums, art exhibits, and live music venues are always great dates. So are quick road trips and exploring a different city. This gives you a chance to build common interests and have good conversation. Women like when you take the initiative and just say “I’m picking you up at 12, be ready for an adventure!” We get all giggly and excited inside. It also doesn’t hurt to bring flowers, chocolates, or something we like to set off the date on the right note. Hold our hand. Give us hugs. Be affectionate, not cold and distant. We like being near you.

Are you looking for a magical list of characteristics? We all have our preferences and types, but remember that everyone has flaws. Including you, Mr. Ashy Ankles. There are no perfect tens. Women are sexy in all shapes, sizes and colors. Outer beauty will attract you, but inner beauty will keep you. Pay attention to her character once you get past her cup size. If you meet a woman that can’t cook, don’t count her out solely on that. Because any woman that loves a man will do her best to follow a recipe and she can learn to cook. It’s about being with someone who is open and willing to form a strong relationship through learning what you need and want.

Are you loyal and consistent? In the age of social media it is so much easier to cheat, but that is not an excuse for bad behavior. Can you answer the phone in front of the woman you are with? Or do you have so many women that your phone is a Fort Knox secret? Women notice all of that, and if you are behaving strangely around your phone, we are looking at you with a side eye. Deception isn’t sexy. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are not ready for a relationship, make it clear, and behave accordingly. Don’t lie for the sake of getting in our pants, it will always backfire on you in the end, in one form or another. (See Here). Women don’t want to be number one, they want to be the only one. Do you keep your word and actually do what you say? Women will start you off with trust, until you break it. And when you do, you will definitely become d*ck until she meets new d*ck. And trust, d*ck is not hard for us to find.

Do you actually take the time to listen? Are you taking the time to get to know her as a person? Women know when you pay attention and we know when you are truly interested. If you make it a practice to actually communicate and talk openly, we can discover wonderful things about each other. We have talents, dreams, gifts and real insights to share. Sure, we love good gossip and reality shows, but that is not the bulk of our existence. Women are complex and complete individuals. Men and women we have so much to offer each other besides sex. A true emotional connection will get you the best sex you can imagine. And that comes through the time and effort of getting to know each other on deeper more intimate levels.

And finally, are you responsible? Are you driving a $50K vehicle but living in a 300 square foot single dilapidated apartment in the hoodiest area of town? It doesn’t add up, Boo. I once met a man who picked me up in bomb Mercedes, but when I went to his place, I knew that he was all about show-boating and not being true about his financial situation. Women don’t like men who cannot handle business. These economic times are tough on many of us and I am not discrediting hard times. But if you cannot afford it, don’t buy it. Also note: after a point, a woman will cease ‘helping you out’. That may fly for awhile (if at all), but you better believe we will get tired of that song and dance too.

Stop faking like you have more than you do, because you will be found out eventually. Keep it real with us from the beginning. You will be amazed at how accepting women will be of your status if you are honest and forthright about your situation.

Men are never in a rush to get married and women understand that. We are not trying to lock you down or force you into anything you are not ready for. We desire to be wanted, not just needed. Women love men and we want to please the men in our lives. We want to nurture and cater to you, but we cannot do this if we are continuously being hurt, abused, abandoned, lied to, mistreated or cheated on by our men. We need to be stimulated mentally, emotionally and physically. We need loyalty, trust, and most of all, love. Women need real men who will be committed and strong enough to love through thick and thin. Women know that men are capable of this, and we expect nothing less.

I know many men who have a bunch of booty sitting around who are always up for a smash, but they are the lonely men as well. Sometimes these very men discover that their smash mate is engaged or suddenly married to someone else. Perhaps this is because there always comes a time when sex is meaningless without real love or a strong connection. What you give out is ultimately what you get back. Take stock of your own situation and see if any of this rings true to you, and ask yourself… Are you d*ck or are you deserving? Deserving of all that a real woman has to offer? You decide, and behave accordingly.

Tags: marriage, Relationships, Sex